Blur and Scale Filter Glass Filter Grayscale Filter Liquid Filter Neon Glow Filter Oil Paint Filter Paper Cut Filter Pixelate Filter Turbulence Filter Vintage Filter

Skip to main content
A person sitting on a park bench in autumn, looking thoughtful and sad, suggesting feelings of guilt after a breakup.
Home Blog

Feel Guilty To Reach Out After a Breakup? You're Not Alone

Feeling guilty after a breakup is a common experience. Integrative Family Counseling offers support. Find a therapist in Dupage County, IL today.

Published on:

Understanding the Roots of Post-Breakup Guilt

Guilt after a breakup can stem from various sources. Sometimes, it arises from regret over how you handled the relationship or the breakup itself. You might replay events in your mind, wondering what you could have done differently. Other times, guilt can be connected to supporting loved ones through difficult transitions. Learning healthy coping strategies can help you navigate these complex emotions. Even if the relationship wasn’t working, you might feel guilty for causing them pain.

Guilt can also be a part of the grieving process. Just like with any loss, breakups involve grieving the relationship, the future you envisioned, and the connection you shared. Guilt can become intertwined with this grief, adding another layer of complexity to your emotions. Understanding where your guilt comes from is the first step toward processing it in a healthy way.

The period following a breakup can be emotionally challenging. Beyond guilt, you might experience complex emotional responses including sadness, anger, confusion, and loneliness. These feelings can fluctuate, and some days might be harder than others. Supporting your wellbeing becomes crucial during this vulnerable time. Learning to process emotions in a healthy way is crucial during this time. It’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment, as suppressing them can prolong the healing process.

Remember, healing from a breakup takes time. There’s no magic cure or timeline. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. It’s okay to not be okay. Focus on self-care, surround yourself with supportive people, and engage in activities that bring you joy.

Self-compassion is crucial during this time. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend going through a similar situation. Avoid self-blame and negative self-talk. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes, and breakups are a part of life.

Practicing self-compassion involves acknowledging your pain, recognizing that you’re not alone in your experience, and offering yourself kindness and understanding. It’s about accepting your imperfections and treating yourself with gentleness, especially during difficult times.

While navigating a breakup on your own is possible, seeking support from a therapist can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to explore your feelings, understand the roots of your guilt, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. They can also help you process the breakup and move forward in a positive direction. Integrative Family Counseling offers both online and in-office therapy options to fit your needs.

If you’re struggling to cope with the guilt and other emotions following a breakup, or if these feelings are interfering with your daily life, it’s a good idea to reach out for professional help. Therapy can provide the tools and support you need to heal and rebuild.

Find A Therapist That Specializes In Post-Breakup Support

Our therapists at Integrative Family Counseling can help you navigate the complex emotions of a breakup, including feelings of guilt, sadness, and loss. We provide a safe and supportive space to process your experience and develop healthy coping strategies.

Kenneth Miyake

Kenneth Miyake

LCPC

My approach has always been what Carl Rogers called the power of the "therapeutic relationship", which includes: unconditional positive regard, compassion, genuineness, empathy, and congruency. We help to empower the client by encouraging them to find their own solutions, which always lie within them.

View Kenneth's Profile
Emily Stoner

Emily Stoner

LCPC

I believe cultivating ways one can empower oneself can be a catalyst for positive changes. By finding practical ways to remind ourselves of choices we have in our everyday lives can assist in improving ourselves overall. I believe in meeting individuals where they are in their healing journey and provide flexibility due to life's busy schedule.

View Emily's Profile
Elizabeth Turek

Elizabeth Turek

Pre-Licensed Counselor

I have experience working with a diverse group of people. I can work effectively and constructively with people from all races, diverse cultures, family systems, and social backgrounds. I focus on a Client-Centered approach and a Gestalt approach that focuses on the present. In addition to being traditionally trained, I incorporate a holistic, integrative approach toward psychotherapy, including aspects of mindfulness, and a holistic approach with Spiritual philosophy.

View Elizabeth's Profile
Siera Smith

Siera Smith

LPC

My approach to therapy has 3 core components: building a strong therapeutic relationship, arming my patients with knowledge through psychoeduation, and identifying the root cause for symptoms.

View Siera's Profile
John Komperda

John Komperda

LCPC
CADC

It is my belief that every client has their own innate ability to heal themselves. My job as a clinician is to foster an environment which is conducive to develop greater clarity, connection, and insight into their problems, which can lead to resolution and transformation.

View John's Profile
View All Therapists

Here are some practical steps you can take to cope with post-breakup guilt and begin the healing process:

  • Acknowledge your feelings: Don’t try to suppress or ignore your guilt. Acknowledge it and allow yourself to feel it.
  • Challenge negative thoughts: Identify any negative or self-blaming thoughts and challenge their validity. Are these thoughts based on facts, or are they simply assumptions?
  • Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made.
  • Focus on self-care: Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
  • Talk to someone you trust: Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
  • Set realistic expectations: Healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and don’t expect to feel better overnight.

While breakups can be painful, they can also be opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Use this time to reflect on what you want in a relationship and what you learned from your past experiences. Focus on building a healthier and happier future for yourself.

Remember, you are worthy of love and happiness. Healing from a breakup takes time and effort, but it is possible. With self-compassion, support, and healthy coping mechanisms, you can move forward and create a fulfilling life.

Insurance Coverage Made Simple

We accept most major insurance plans and offer low self-pay rates to ensure quality care is accessible to everyone. Your well-being is our priority, and we're here to help regardless of your financial situation.

Our Therapy Centers in DuPage County

We also offer online therapy sessions for your convenience.

Lombard Therapy Center

10 Therapists at this location

Our Lombard office is conveniently located near the Yorktown Shopping Center, offering easy access from I-355 and I-88. The modern facility provides a welcoming environment for therapy sessions.

Monday - Friday: 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM

2200 S Main St suite 217e, Lombard, IL 60148

Clarendon Hills Therapy Center

7 Therapists at this location

Our Clarendon Hills office is situated in a peaceful setting near the Metra station, making it easily accessible for commuters. The location offers a serene atmosphere perfect for counseling sessions.

Monday - Friday: 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM

219 W. 55th St. Suite 202-203 Clarendon Hills, IL 60514

Wheaton Therapy Center

1 Therapists at this location

Our Wheaton office is centrally located near the College of DuPage, providing a convenient location for students and families. The office features comfortable spaces designed for therapeutic work.

Monday - Friday: 8:00 AM - 8:00 PM

600 W Roosevelt Rd, Wheaton, IL 60187
Yes, it's completely normal. Breakups involve loss, and guilt can be a part of the grieving process. You might feel guilty about things you did or didn't do, or even about the breakup itself.
Even if you initiated the breakup, you can still feel guilty. This might stem from empathy for your ex-partner, doubts about your decision, or the pain of the relationship ending.
There's no set timeframe. The duration of guilt varies depending on the relationship, the circumstances of the breakup, and individual coping styles. It's important to be patient with yourself.
Yes, prolonged or intense guilt can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. If guilt is interfering with your daily life, seeking professional help is important.
Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Practice self-compassion, focusing on your needs. Talk to trusted friends or family. Consider seeking therapy for additional support.
If your guilt is overwhelming, persistent, or accompanied by other symptoms like changes in sleep or appetite, it's a good idea to seek help from a therapist.
Therapy provides a safe space to explore your feelings, understand the roots of your guilt, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. A therapist can help you process the breakup and move forward.
While well-intentioned, others may not fully understand your experience. Their comments can invalidate your feelings. It's important to acknowledge your emotions and seek support from those who understand.

Related Articles

More articles
Users Team Message Circle Contact Map Pin Maps
Integrative Family Counseling Logo